Post Number Eight

On October 25, 2010

Today Rob expanded on Sternberg’s Triangular Model of Love. He thought us about the seven different types of love. They are: intimacy, infatuation, empty love, companionate love, fatuous love, romantic love and consummate love.  Each type of love possess one or more of the following traits; intimacy, commitment or passion.

Rob also discussed the social exchange theory. Rob said that it is a subjective cost/ benefit analysis. It is a way to determine if the relationship’s outcome is worth the cost. It is evaluated on a give and take basis. There is also a model that was developed by George Levinger that acts as an extension or application of the social exchange theory. It is the ABC(DE) Model, which stands for : A- Attraction, B- Building, C- Continuation, D- Deterioration and E- Ending. The last two stages are only applicable if the relationship is coming to an end.

On October 27, 2010

During this class we watch a video called, “The British Way: Monty Pythons the Meaning of Life.” In the video they seem to talk about sex in a very hidden way; however the students knew exactly what the instructor was speaking about. I found this video to be very humorous and made sex appear to be just the act with no emotion attached.

After the video we talked about communication and how sex itself is a form of communication. Rob also mentioned a couple of obstacles that may face a couple when talking about sex issues. They are vulgarity and irrational beliefs. Because people believe sex to be vulgar it is talked about less. Also because people believe that their partner will know exactly what they want they form irrational beliefs. Rob talked about ways to a conversation about sexual problems started. You want to make sure it is an appropriate time and place, ask for permission and also give permission. It makes sense to use those techniques as these topics can make people feel very uncomfortable. It is also very important to listen effectively.

Rob ended the class with getting us to list ten ways to get a conversation started. The one I thought was very appropriate was wine! It is a great way to relax and talk about the topic at hand.

October 29, 2010

Rob showed us the recent Dentyne Ice Commercial that’s slogan is, “practice safe breath.” I love this commercial! I feel it was very well marketed. After the video Rob asked us, “What did people think about masturbation in high school?” The majority of people felt that in high school guys would normally joke about it and girls didn’t usually bring it up.

Rob mentioned the term ideology. I believe that an ideology is something people are trying to achieve. Karl Marx believed that the interests of the dominant group in society become the dominant ideologies. Rob also introduced the term, function. The notion of function is that it is an indirect effect of something. The example Rob gave was that the rich continue to get rich and poor continue to get poorer. Although societies do not intend on making the poor poorer it is an indirect effect.

Also during this class we started talking about the uncomfortable topic of masturbation. It is widely known that our society frowns upon the topic. However it is a source of one’s true sexuality. Rob stated that we discover our true self through solitary behaviour. I do believe that statement is true. I feel that it is a private matter and that society may not frown upon the act but more so the idea of talking about it publicly. Traditionally masturbation was considered a form of self abuse and through an Early Judeau Christian view it was considered to be a sin as it was non-procreative. Rob mentioned a Greek comedy called, “Lysistrata.” It confronted the topic from a humorous point of view. I had never heard of the play but would love to familiarize myself with it. Rob had mentioned that Sylvester Graham and Dr. JH Kelloggs both had invented snacks that had the intention of curbing sexual desire. I remember hearing about a video that was based on Kellogg’s sanatorium that was put into place to help cleanse people of sexual behaviour. It was called, “Road to Wellville”, I haven’t seen the whole video but would love to if I could get my hands on it. I will post the link to the trailer of the video if you are interested in seeing it. I found it very interesting that a place would actually be invented to specialize in curing that kind of problem. Rob also mentioned that Freud believed that infants themselves have a sexuality and that they also had libidinal urges. I could see that causing controversy within a society. Personally I believe Freud had some pretty out there theory but I could see this one to be true. I believe humans a born as sexual beings and have a internal curiosity about your body and the pleasure one can feel. The last note Rob made about masturbation was that today it is seen in a more positive way. The book says that emotional negative effects are directly correlated with the thoughts of masturbation. Rob had quoted Hamlet who believed that nothing is good or bad but thinking that makes it so. I love this quote because it leaves room for people to look at things through their own situational interpretive paradigm.

Rob also brought up the idea of sexual fantasy. In the book it tells us that this concept is widely practiced. I wasn’t surprised about this fact. What I was surprised about was the study that was done in Ontario. They found that one half of women fantasize about forced sex! This surprised me because I would have never thought that one half of women would fantasize about such a thing. The book also stated that for women there was a correlation between sexual experience or quality of sexual experience and sexual fantasy. I found that to be interesting but not surprising because if a woman had become uninterested then maybe she would look for new ways of experiencing pleasure.

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts and my beliefs.

Ps. May is masturbation month J

Post Number Seven

On October 18, 2010

Rob talked about Attraction. We started the class with an activity. Rob had asked us these two questions:

§  List features you find attractive (sexually) in a person

§  List 3 features you find attractive in a potential or long term, life or spouse partner

There are many features I find attractive in a man they are also what I would look for in a long term partner. They are handsome, hardworking and funny. Luckily my boyfriend of eight years is all three of those things.

Rob then got into the material by talking about information categorized into three sections: Beauty, Non-Physical Traits and Long Term. Within the Beauty section we learnt that physical attraction is important in a relationship. We also learnt that is varies between cultures. In the Non-Physical Trait section we learnt that there are many factors that can cause people to become attracted to another. They are familiarity, liking someone, respecting someone, sharing values and goals, smiling and gender extremes. The one I found interesting was that women prefer take charge men but men are less attracted to take charge women. I found this to be interesting because I am a very take charge woman and my boyfriend is a very take charge man. I guess some how we found a loop hole into making it work. We didn’t have time this class to cover long term so we continued it in the next class.

On October 20, 2010

During this class we concluded our lesson of attraction and watched a video. We talked about long term attraction. There were three topics discussed. We talked about David Buss and how he believed women were looking for men to provide for them and how men were looking for long term partners. He also believed that people who share a similar attractiveness level are more likely to date. Rob mentioned two terms propinquity and reciprocity. I was familiar with these terms from my EDCM class that I took last year. Propinquity is another term for proximity and when the term is applied to attraction it means that people are attracted to others who are within close proximity to them. For example, my boyfriend and I met in high school. The other term reciprocity means that people seek a mutual exchange in a relationship.

For the last half of the class we watch the 1996 version of Romeo and Juliet. Rob must like this version because he also showed it in FAM315. I personally love this version. The first time I saw this film I was in grade ten in English class. It allowed me to understand the play much better. I felt that the film told the tragic love story in such an interesting and modern way. This film was an introduction to our next topic, love.

October 22, 2010

On this day we started talking about love. Rob talked about some Greek Influences. They were storge (non-sexual love), agape (love of selflessness), philia (brotherly love) and eros(commitment, respect and passion).  Rob also talked about infatuation vs. romantic love. Rob mentioned that infatuation is a phenomenon among the young and is an intense absorption in another person. Romantic love is idealized and is something I feel can be achieved but not one person will ever experience the same romantic love. From a situational perspective everyone experiences a different lived reality. Rob handed out an activity that was to measure the level of love felt by the participant. I took the test and it determined I am in absolute love. It was nice to discover that what I feel was confirmed.   Also during this class we also were introduced to Sternberg’s Triangular model of love. It is a method to determine what kind of love someone is experiencing. We ran out of time this class so it was continued next class.

Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts and my beliefs!

Operation Beautiful

Hey All,

This is the link to the website I spoke of in my last post.

http://operationbeautiful.com/

Please check it out!

Post Number Six

On October 13, 2010

During this class we watched the video, Sexy Inc; Our children under influence. Rob had asked us to watch the video and decided whether we felt it was feminist and if it was what feminist wave it would fall under. I felt the video was most definitely feminist and I believed it would fall under the second wave of feminism as it was focused on the degrading sexual representation of women. I believe this video was spot on. Our society has made sex appeal one of the most important factors in a woman’s life. I truly believe that if society would focus on internal beauty rather than external beauty we would see that women would have more self-confidence and respect for themselves. Our media has targeted young girls and it is appalling that there is very few corporations that try to change this reality. One of the largest corporations that have worked very hard is Dove. They have made a huge effort in promoting self-esteem to young females. A classmate recently showed me a website that I was very impressed with. It is called operationbeautiful.com its main idea is to post post-it notes in different places with inspiring messages or compliments that make you feel beautiful. I LOVE THIS IDEA! That note could be the sign you need to accept yourself and feel beautiful. It may not be a life changing thing but if for just one day that note made your negative perspective of yourself go away it did its job. I intend on adopting this idea and starting it here in Red Deer. I hope it catches on and spreads like wild fire! I volunteer at a junior high school in Sylvan Lake and I know this could make some girls feel better about themselves. It might also teach some to accept others for who they are rather than teasing them or treating them like an outcast.

On October 15, 2010

During this class we discussed the subcategories of psychological gender typing. I will briefly describe each one:

·         Psycho-Analytic

o   Freud believed that gender emerges as a feature as our psycho-sexual development.

·         Social- Cognitive

o   Albert Bandura believed that development occurs through an interaction between cognition or thinking and social experiences.

·         Cognitive-Developmental

o   Laurence Kohlberg believed the child gradually comes to see gender as more and more permanent

·         Gender Schema Theory

o   States that the child learns schemas about gender, but over time blends with self concept.

Rob told us that the book mentioned that if a child’s gender self concept is consistent within their culture they are more apt to have higher self esteem. Although there are exceptions I believe that statement to be very true. Rob then asked us to get into small groups and answer the following questions:

1.    Please think of a person of figure who does not fit their typical gender expectation?

2.    In what ways do they not?

3.    How do people react to them?

Our group chose to talk about Elton John. We believed that he didn’t fit into his typical gender expectation because he was a famous singer who openly came out as a homosexual. It was surprising how he had lost very few fans and still remained popular within society. I say surprising because of the time that it had happened, 1975, you would expect people to distance themselves from homosexual people.

Post Number Five

This week seemed to fly by. We had our first exam on Wednesday. I believe I did well as it only took me seven minutes to write it! I was very confident going into the exam and was even more confident when I finished.  I felt that I had a bit of an advantage due to me taking FAM315 last year with Rob. I knew the way he tests and some of the material was my second time learning it. We did have class on Monday and Wednesday and here’s what we covered:

On October 4, 2010

During this class we talked about sex assignment, which by the books definition is “the labelling of a newborn as male or female.” We talked about some key terms Piaget believed in, Hermaphrodites and Intersexual. I was shocked to hear Rob say that 1 in 1000 people are Intersexual.  I found this fact very interesting because if you were to take Red Deer’s population there would be about 90 people who are intersexual.  We also talked about Plato. Plato was the one to script what Socrates said. They believed in a “Primordial Hermaphrodite,” which was one individual who possessed both a male and female part. They believed that the gods separated the two parts and today we are driven to reconnect. I found this idea to be very interesting. To think that the reason we are attracted to the opposite sex is because by being with them we feel whole is quite intriguing.  

On October 8, 2010

This class started off on a great note! I had just returned from a conference in Calgary and was very excited to give Rob the gift we had gotten him. The key note speaker was Richard D. Lavoie. This man is an inspiration and has made me look at learning disabilities in a new light. In Rob’s EDPY class that I took last year he showed a video of Richard and I was hooked. You could almost say I had become a Ricky-D groupie. I googled his name and saw that he was coming to Calgary. I then emailed the contact persona and asked how much and where it was going to be held. After getting a reply I was devastated to find that the cost was three hundred dollars to attend. Knowing I was not able to go I forwarded the message to Rob in hopes he would be able to go. Well the day before today I was contacted by another classmate that we were offered a cheap rate of only $fifty dollars to see Richard D. Lavoie. So of course I attended. His presentation was unbelievable! I shed some tears and let out some laughs. He was a great speaker and I am so blessed to have been offered such an opportunity. The group I went with was able to get an autographed book for Rob. I hope he understands that without him we would have never been introduced to this wonderful man.

In class we did an activity that I had also done in EDPY. We were to choose a male and female that represented the ideal of each femininity and masculinity. My partner and I chose Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston. We felt that both had good looks, were both successful and both were influential. I feel as if we did this kind of activity in the 1950’s, before the first wave of feminism, that the answers would be very different. After the activity we talked about gender roles and stereotypes, sexism and aggression. This class was a refresher for me as I have learnt this in another one of Rob’s classes. I feel that our society plays a great importance on how we view genders. What is femininity? What is masculinity? And who are we to decide?

Post Number Four

I feel that this week we really dove into some heavier material.

On September 27, To start this class Rob handed out an assignment that had multiple statements that described someone’s personal explanation of an orgasm. We were to determine whether or not it was described by a male or female. Out of ten statements I got 5 correct.  After the activity, Rob talked about Masters and Johnsons 4-phase sexual response cycle. I found it very interesting that there were so many things that happen within our bodies during sexual activity.  I was afraid that this class may be a bit awkward or uncomfortable at times but so far I am surprised as to how comfortable I am.

On September 29, During this class we watched a film clip and learned about variations to sexual response. The film clip was from, “Everything you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask.” This Woody Allen film focused on the stages a man goes through during sexual activity. It took the information and made it humorous. It was a lighter way to understand the material. After the clip we talked about Ellen Signer Kaplan, Rosemary Basson and Sigmund Freud. They each had their own responses to sex. Kaplan is a sexual therapist therefore she talked about her Three Phases of Sexual Problems and/or Dysfunctions. Her phases were desire, excitement and orgasm. Basson took a more feminist perspective and talked about intimacy. And last but not least Freud. He believed that sex was the engine that drives child development.  He believed that there is only one way for a woman to have a proper orgasm. He had two types of orgasms; vaginal and clitoral. He felt that clitoral orgasms showed the immaturity of the woman.  I feel that Freud was very close minded towards the purpose of sex. I think he felt that reproduction was the only reason to engage in sexual activity.

On October 1, Today in class we spoke a little bit about how Masters and Johnsons believed there was only one type of orgasm and that the 4-phase cycle did not only happen during intercourse but could happen during masturbation or oral sex. We also touched on how relationships placed an importance on sexual activity. Then we also talked about masturbation and how it is somewhat frowned upon. For the remainder of the class we did an flip chart activity. Rob asked us to determine some features of sexual diversity and commonality within our community. I will share one from each. We determined that the use of birth control and contraception’s were a diversity in our community as we felt many people feel differently towards the topic. We then determined that teenagers are pressured by peers to lose their virginity at an early age. We felt that was a commonality within our community.

This week was a very busy one for me. I have a couple of exams coming up and I am starting to feel the pressure of school again. I am very glad I chose to take this class. It is very informative and interesting. Well I think that is it for this week. I’m off to study for our upcoming exam! Wish me luck J